Ah, the things I could write about my life so far. Well, starting at last night, I didn't get any sleep, because my sleep glands ran up against an unexpected obstacle. My brain/body functions combined to discover that my nose was horribly blocked, and had a dialogue between each other that ran something like this:
Sleep Gland: I want sleep.
Brain: We're supposed to be asleep. Gawain got to bed relatively early, let's make the most of it!
Body: Uh, slight problem guys.
Brain: What is it? Where? Who?
Sleep Gland: I want sleep.
Brain: Which? Why? Meaning of life?
Body: Um, the, uh, breathing passage is blocked.
Brain: Oh, that's right, we have a cold. So?
Body: So if we sleep, we'll, uh, suffocate to death, like. Can't breath through nose. Can't breathe through mouth or it'll dry out.
Brain: Yes yes, good point. Oh, I see. Very good point.
Body: So no sleep tonight?
Brain: I guess so. Damn. Get onto that virus!
Sleep Gland: I want sleep.
Body: Will do. Should be gone in a week or so.
Brain: This is annoying. I was looking forward to another freaky dream like last night.
Something like that. I didn't get the whole conversation.
As for the rest of my life, I can't be stuffed. Next time if you're lucky perhaps.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
10 comments:
How interesting.
Word.
Is there a sleep gland?
Technically, yes. Specifically, no. Prepositionally, I WANT CHEESECAKE!!!
Theoretically, that doesn't make sense!
Analytically, my left nostril is a Tasmanian. Goes by the name of Harold.
Well, maybe. But how can you tell? What is real? Are you sure you have a left nostril?
In answer to your questions: I can tell because I have been imbued with knowledge. Real is defined by its user(s). My left nostril forms an integral part of my bodily functions and therefore does not exist (hypothetically).
A question for you!
How many doctors know how to create a left nostril? Just in case mine goes missing, I may need a backup... You've got me all worried.
I’m sure that in some parallel dimension I would, in fact, be able to create a left nostril. For a small fee. My pan-dimensional abilities also enable me to detect a message from someone you know, and it reads thus: Why don’t you send her a decent email, instead of responding to meaningless spoutings from some anonymous person? Just a suggestion…
Yes yes, I did already.
So [cough] about those sleep glands....
Post a Comment