Learning to trust

Sometimes I'm not willing to let go and trust that things will be okay. I find it really hard. Perhaps that's a side effect of always seeing the 'smaller picture', focussing overmuch on details, whatever you want to call it. Perhaps if I could do a 'big picture' view, take a mental step back, predict the likely outcomes, and observe the situation dispassionately, that would be easier. I'd realise that it would all work out, and my petty complaints that 'things aren't perfect' would appear unnecessary.

So I struggle with the more general kind of trust. It seems wired into me, somehow. Why? Don't know. I'm just uptight, probably. Hmm... Then there's the more specific, personal kind of trust. I'm not sure how trusting I am on a personal level. It would probably depend on the person, how well I know them, my relationship to them, that sort of thing. I feel sure I could be trusting for people close to me. But sometimes people point out that I'm not.

It would be interesting to test out trust levels. For a day, I could observe situations where I'm being asked to put trust in someone, or trust in a situation, and see what my response is/was.
With all such observations, I suppose there's a small chance that the observing process affects the outcome, but still... worth a try.

I guess in the end, if I want to change, I can. In any case, it's definitely possible to be *too* trusting...

Word of the day: dispassionate.
adjective
not influenced by strong emotion, and so able to be rational and impartial: she dealt with life's disasters in a calm, dispassionate way.

Yep.

The Dismissal of Detail

There are people in the world, like me, who are intent on 'getting it right'. People who notice and point out other people's mistakes. Editors. Correctness nerds.
I'm learning to let go sometimes. To allow mistakes, to let things slide.
The turning point can be summed up in a couple of phrases.

"You can't expect people to do something they don't want to do."

This one has been revelatory to me. All the goodwill and good intent in the world can't fix something that doesn't WANT to be fixed. If a problem needs your help, people will usually ask. Then the challenge is not to overstep what's appropriate for the situation.

It's difficult, then, to know whether to step in or not. Do you attempt to be proactive, and solve a problem, only to find out your help isn't welcome? Or do you sit quietly seeing as you haven't been asked, only to discover your help would have been invaluable! Every situation requires individual judgement and each person's own store of wisdom based on experience. My 'rule' is there as a guide only. But it's very useful.

My other decision:

"If an action or inaction affects everyone, then make it known. If it affects only yourself, fix it yourself. If it's of no consequence, leave it."

This one is about not making a bigger deal out of things than is necessary. It's about prioritising - what actually IS important for everyone to know, and what isn't. It's also about learning to live with inadequacies, insufficiencies, incorrectnesses, inconsistencies, and that is something that takes time... possibly a lifetime!

Never mind. Even if everyone around us isn't perfect, we can still be perfect.... right?! :P

Ha. Pursuit of perfection... never fear. I'm not that naïve.