COLLEGE SEX EXPOSED!
by Lisa Picone.
The theme of this issue is Sex - how lucky. In this sneak-peek into college life, it will invariably surface anyway.
Ahh, College and Sex. Like Pubs and Beer, they can be enjoyed separately but are so much more interesting when combined. And there is plenty of pubs and beer involved: Sundays at Mooseheads [where's that? asks Saxman], Mondays at Naughtos, Tuesdays at Clyde, Wednesdays at dirty P.A's, Thursdays at Puggs, and weekends to recover.
The chemical fusion of young females and males reveling in their new-found freedom from home is further catalysed by copious amounts of alcohol, resulting in a crazy concoction of sex and drama. It's not only the science students who seem interested in getting up close and personal with human biology.
At St. Mary's College, population 165, there have been over 60 different pick-ups this year that I know of. Most of these involve only about 10 different people but it still goes to show what an inbred little community we are. [Damn straight, Mary's. -Saxman]
Many a student has been busted as they perform the Walk of Shame, aka the Dawn Dash. Waking up to discover you're in a strange room, you gather your things and hope no one else is awake, creeping back to your room. You think you've got away with it. But as you walk into the dining room, the sound of hundreds of spoons banging against the table greets you, adding to your splitting hangover headache. Yes, everyone does know about your little sleep over last night. We call this spooning (obviously of a different sort to the type you may have experienced the night before).
My personal favorite Walk of Shame would be a Mary's girl trekking back from Queens the morning after a ball, dress in hand, wearing the lucky guy's footy shorts and bluey. Pure class. Some notable spoonings this year involve our President picking up a fresher in O-Week (strictly forbidden) and a certain Mary's metrosexual going home with - not one, but two - Janet Clarke Hall girls.
As you can see, I am now enlightened on one form of 'spooning', but not on the "night before" type.
May I add that my college experiences have not included spooning. And I think my college is a little less full-on than Mary's and the other Crescent Colleges.
7 comments:
Ah. Have a look for the other one on Wikipedia.
So which article did you write? And in which edition?
I never said I wrote an article. In any edition.
Errrgh. Quote/Wrote.
Damn, My eyesight must be failing.
That's what happens when you get older.
It's the SEX edition, of course, the current one.
Older. No, it cannot be. I have achieved my perfect age. To suggest anything else is sacrilege.
Btw are you going to SJ's Birthday?
dunno, are you? Hey, it's like, tonight. Nah, probly not then, as I'm still at college.
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